“Come on,
let’s go and say goodbye to your grandparents” my dad told us while we were
heading toward my grandparents’ house. We rang the bell, and my aunt opened the
door with a sad smile on her face, we hugged her a bit longer than the usual.
After all, today wasn’t a usual day, we were moving. No not just moving from
house to another, we were leaving our hometown, our country and heading to
another. We were leaving Syria, to go to the States. In the past couple weeks
I’ve said a lot of goodbye’s, I’ve hugged a lot of people, tears were involved
too but this one was the hardest. Never have I ever thought I would be leaving
my grandparents and family behind and leave. Even when I thought about
marriage, I never thought I won’t be able to see them at least once every week.
But here we are today, saying goodbye to one of the most important people in my
life. And I didn’t like it one little bit.
“Come here” my
grandma said to me, I hugged here tight and she whispered in my ear with tears
in her eyes “Keep an eye on your brothers, don’t let them forget who they are,
don’t let them forget their culture, and most importantly, don’t let them
forget about me. I might not be alive to see you again. When you come back I
might be” but she couldn’t finish the sentence because of the tears and because
my aunt stopped her before she would be able to finish it and said “Don’t say
that Mama, Allah kareem (Arabic word means God is generous, which means
that if you have faith in God everything will be fine)”
Grandpa was
next, we weren’t that close, but he was one of the nicest people I’ve ever seen
in my life. He used to take us, his grandchildren alone to have breakfast with
him by ourselves. He always shows us that he is a strong man, with a very big
heart that could fit all the world in it. You would rarely see his tears, and
here we are with teary grandpa hugging his grandchildren with no idea if he
will see them again in his life. We hugged and I kissed his hand with no words,
no one was able to talk, so we didn’t.
My aunt was
the hardest, because she was the emotional one in our family, and her eyes were
already red and she was hugging us with so much love and care. She was like
another mom to me, she was always there for me, for all of us. She even used to
take us (grandchildren) weekly on a day out to watch a movie, play laser-tag,
bowling, or just to eat ice-cream. “Take care of yourself and your brothers”
she told me before she let go of me to hug my brothers. The moment we went
outside, and stopped at our house door to make sure we have everything my dad
broke down. And tears started falling down from his eyes, I’ve never saw him
cry before, and it was terrible.
Until we were
in the car, and half the way to Lebanon I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. Call
me emotionless I don’t care, I just don’t like to show people my tears. Sure
I’ve cried in front of people before, but I try my best not to, but I just
couldn’t hold it anymore. Soon I felt few tears on my cheeks, I wiped them with
my hands hoping no one saw them, but I don’t think anyone was paying attention,
everyone was in his own thoughts.
I took my
phone and texted my best friend for the last time, I know I talked to her
yesterday but that wasn’t enough because I couldn’t even say an appropriate
goodbye to her. I texted her, but when she texted me back it was too late, I
lost my signal. New tears came to my eyes, and this time I let them fall. I
didn’t care what people would think, I’m going to miss her, all my friends, my family,
and most importantly, myself.
We reached our
hotel to sleep because out plane would take off at 7:45 am. As soon as we got
in our rooms everyone opened their phones and connected to the internet and
went in their own virtual world. Soon we went to bed, and slept.
After I made
sure no one was around I took my dairy from my handbag and started writing my
thoughts in it. After I put it back in my bag I laid in my bed and started
drifting to sleep.
In the next
morning, everyone woke up at 6 am, we dressed, ate breakfast, checked out, and
went to the airport. Everyone was sleepy and tiered, and we sat there waiting
for our flight to start boarding. While we were waiting we talked to our
friends, said last minute goodbye, and wished them luck in their exams that
they had an hour after.
Since that
day, everything changed in our lives. Starting from where we lived, to
ourselves. Some things didn’t matter to me like they used to, some things I
didn’t care about in the past now I pay more attention to them. Even the
promises we made, to stay in touch with each other and talk like there is
nothing different was broken. Nothing was the same anymore, and it will never
be. And that’s how I became who I am today. You can say I’ve became more
mature, I’ve grown up in less than 48 hours but that’s what happens when you
see that there is more in life than just having fun, and not caring about the
future.
Ever since
that day, my life changed. I am not the same carefree girl I used to be, I am
not the same fun person I used to be, I now have a totally different
personality just in the same person. Is it for the best? I still don’t know,
and I don’t think I’ll know anytime soon.
So this is actually an essay I wrote for my Lit online class last week. What do you think?
I think I might also start a story on wattpad, but I don't know! I will probably never finish it and I hate it when some starts a story and never finish it so I might re-write it and when I'm done with it I'll post it. Yeah that sounds better. :)
Contact me? I'd love to get to know new people.
Email: huda.hashem@hotmail.com
huda.butterfly@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HoudaHashemxx
With love,
Houda xx
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